But rather than do what our parents did, might I suggest we adopt a different view.

This knowledge gives us power. It gives us the power to choose our behaviour. We can choose to be compassionate. After all he's now probably the dopiest thing we know. He needs a cuddle and noogie, a knowing smile and a truckload of understanding. Most importantly, in teenage, he needs a dad (If that's a problem then he will need a strong male role model, a grandparent, a teacher, a friend or uncle. Someone who can talk to him and gently guide him through the rewire). This strong male influence is important. A boy gets a massive boost hearing from a man that he is intelligent and loved.

I saw this in action in my own home last week. My partner had just heard my teenage stepson give what appeared to be an incredibly cheeky reply to a simple request. Having read Raising Boys he paused before making what would have been a curt reply. What he realised was that the rewire, this current dopiness, had led to him to forget to do something that he'd done for years. An action he'd repeated successfully many times.

His dad didn't get drawn into a conflict over his attitude. He made a request that reminded his son what was needed and explained then said, ??You probably didn?™t realise this, but the way you spoke to me came over as rude. Can you be careful with that please???/P>

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