New Year's Resolutions for Stepparents
By Dawn Miller

The holiday whirlwind of activities is finally over and you?™re left wondering where the new year will take you. Perhaps you resolved to lose weight, get in shape, or improve your finances. You can also resolve to improve your stepfamily this coming year. Here's five resolutions to consider adding to your list.

(1) Accept that stepfamilies are different and get informed about stepfamily dynamics. The Stepfamily Association of American insists on use of the term ?œstepfamily??because stepfamilies are intrinsically different from other types of families. There are tons of books, forums and websites available offering help and advice. Perhaps you can read one book a month or a chapter per week. Set the pace that works for you, but get informed.

(2) Find support with others for parents and stepparents. It?™s not easy to build a stepfamily, especially in the critical first few years. Don?™t underestimate the power of talking about your experiences with others in the same boat. Sharing your stepfamily?™s triumphs and trials with others who relate to your situation can be affirming and empowering. Last year I made a new friend who is also a relatively new stepmom, and our monthly get-togethers to talk about our lives have become a highlight within my zany schedule and helped me better cope with the demands of being a stepmom and a wife.

There are support groups available to help stepfamilies. If there?™s no support group in your area, materials for starting one are available from the Stepfamily Association of America. Support groups are often available from therapists specializing in stepfamilies, and talking with a trained therapist or counselor can help you, your spouse and your children grow as a stepfamily and as individuals.