At the Getting Going stage parents and their the new partner must be prepared to answer lots of questions: about relationships with the new people, about the other parent and how things are going to be now at home. You?™ll need to answer questions around what they should call the new adult in the house. The children may well test the tolerance of the new adult and any new processes/systems may well be ignored.

Every adult I speak too in a stepfamily who is having difficulties tells me they wished they?™d come to me sooner when they were planning blending families. They realise that discussing key things early would make life a lot easier later. As the old saying goes, failing to plan is just planning to fail.

Growing. The realities are beginning to really hit home. You?™ve moved in together and are realising that you don?™t agree with the way your partner disciplines their own children and even worse the way they discipline yours. You don?™t see your children as much because your ex is resentful or your new partner is not getting along with them. There are arguments amongst the children and you and your partner are feeling the tension in your own relationship and in the relationship with the children.

Decisions can be hard to make within the family, as there are so many different needs to take into account. Each member of the family will attempt to establish themselves in relation to other new family members. At this stage the adults are likely to receive challenges from the children. There are still plenty of uncertainties but family members are becoming clearer and more confident.