Understanding The Development Process Of A Stepfamily
By Joanne Ball

Part of The Stepfamily Coach approach is having families see themselves as a team. To aid this I?˜ve developed The Stepfamily Development Model. The model breaks down into four parts: getting going, growing, flowing and glowing.

Understanding each of these areas alone will really help blend a family, ease the stress and find greater happiness within the family.

Let?™s explore each of these areas.

Getting Going. This is the stage that two people fall in love. They want to spend as much time as possible together. They only see the good things about each other. The fact that children are involved hardly matters at this point as love conquers all! And this is a second chance and it?™s going to be wonderful - a lovely partner and one big happy family.

In the background of this Getting Going stage the practicality is that the children will need a lot of guidance and direction from their parent. They will also need reassurance too so as to avoid feeling shut out. The new partner will also need lots of support and guidance on how to interact with the young people of the house.

This whole stage is littered with dreams and uncertainty with hardly anyone knowing what to do or how to act.

At this stage it?™s ideal to plan, look ahead, discuss the future and all the what if?™s and buts. Think about the reality of living together. Who will discipline who, what are acceptable standards amongst the children, etc.